These last couple of weeks have just happened to be filled with loss on very different levels, but loss none the less. One thing about me is that I thrive on consistency. I love the harmony of my very busy life. One wrong note though and it will throw me off completely. It can be something as little as missing boot camp (like this morning) and it throws my day off.
Well, about two weeks ago, a friendship ended, a week ago I found out that I can not run in the marathon and a few days later I learned that a sweet girl from work passed away. Last night, I received more news that has me worried. Hard. Very hard. To be honest, it felt like blows to the chest. It seemed that when I got my feet back underneath me, something else came around the corner. I spent the better part of two weeks spaced out, more to keep from getting emotional. Happy, I could do but to think of any of the above mentioned incidences left me of the verge of tears, if not actually crying, so I tried to not think about it. I did find moments to grieve each thing when I was alone but unfortunately for my sweet daughter, Kyle, sometimes a song on the radio would trigger the tears to fall. Thankfully I’m blessed and she would give me a hug and an “I love you” as a reminder.
With the loss of my chance to run the marathon, I had thought about ending this little blog, but I looked at it and realized that what started out as a blog about my marathon training has turned into something else. I’ve also found that I like recording little moments on this blog. The last blog I had, I downloaded and turned into a book to keep as kind of a memory book of last year. And even though I am not going to be able to run the marathon, there are still other things that I will be doing that provide enough fodder for this blog. Boot camp alone provides enough stories to share. And then there are moments like this where I choose to open up a little. I take it as more practice on my decision in my “Getting Personal” post of not keeping everything to myself. 🙂 So now you know why My 1st Marathon has turned into Pieces of Randomness.