So last night, we (Kris, Chris, myself, and 4 kids) were getting ready to eat and Kris gets herself some tea and remembers that she forgot to bring her stash of straws home from work. She drinks everything with a straw. Iced tea, water, coffee, alcohol. She loves her straws. 🙂 Well, without missing a beat, her husband, Chris, tells her that he bought her more straws while he was out. I watched her as she walked over and gave him a kiss and made a remark something like “even after I was mean to you last night”. The night before, she became irritated at him and went to bed early. To her credit, she was sick and didn’t quite know it yet and everything was irritating her. 🙂
As I watched this scene unfold last night, I pointed to her husband and said to her “and this is precisely the reason to never be jealous of my single life”. Not that she is. She loves her husband. Dearly. You can read about it here. But I’ve heard it from several other people. How they are jealous that I’m single and can do whatever I want. See whoever I want. Go wherever I want. Which is all true. And rather nice, but at the same time, it kinda sucks. I do what I want, when I want, where I want but I do it by myself. I raise two beautiful, awesome girls by myself.
What’s very funny is that just a week before, I was hanging out with two other friends of mine. Single, beautiful, articulate, personable friends of mine and we had a conversation about a pattern we’ve noticed. A trend we obviously weren’t told about. Now this may seem judgmental buuuuuuut I’m going to say it. It seems the awful, bitchy, hateful women seem to be married or are in long term relationships. Have these long relationships, however miserable, and the crazy part, with what seem like great guys and we are sitting on the couch on a weekend night watching a romantic comedy on Showtime. Blerg! I’m not saying every married woman is awful, bitchy or hateful, I’m just confused by all the horrible relationships that I’ve seen over the years that are still trucking along while the shelf life of a man’s interest in me doesn’t seem to go beyond two months.
Now we all have our theories about what is going on, all wrong I’m sure. 🙂 But what we do know is we are all at the point in our life that we are not interested in the stupid, childish games that seem to plague the dating world. And maybe that is what prevents most interests to go beyond the two month mark. I have a very low tolerance for BS. Looooooooooooooooow. I don’t dish it out and at the same time have no interest in allowing it to enter my life. I’m low key. I’m easy going. And I have no problem getting rid of anything that wants to bring drama and insanity into my life, including men. Life is just too short for that.
I don’t like being led on, having my feelings hurt because the “man” I’m seeing turns out to still be occupying the mind of a 15 year old boy. I don’t play games, so I don’t understand it when guys chooses that route. You know, no calls for three days after a date. Really?? Laaaaame. If you’re interested, get what you want. If you’re not, shake hands and move on. I’m not interested in acting crazed and jealous so that a man feels important. I’m with you. Obviously you are important to me. So as quickly as the fun of a relationship enters my sphere, I walk away with little concern of “what if”. Honestly, and I may be naive here, I think if it was going to work, it would. If not, move on. I won’t be the girl that gets in your face because you aren’t giving me the attention I want. I won’t scream, yell, and stomp because my expectations are not what is the reality. That’s not who I am.
And because my reality is that I’m looking for a “straw” man. Someone who thinks of me while he’s out and gets me the silly thing I love because it will make me happy. Someone who is happy to cast aside the drama and live in the moment with me because the present moment is all we have. I’m looking for a partner in crime, my best friend. I think this is really what we are all looking for. Living in the simple while sipping through our thoughtfully purchased straws 🙂