So this is probably going to piss people off but Jesus, I’ve had it. We live in a pick and choose time that drives me crazy. What I mean by that is we have become a society that is all about “me”. I will choose what works for me and to hell with everything else. Even better, we bash those that live in a way that we don’t agree with and become offended and unreasonable when they do the same. We have become a pack of islands that are only concerned with self.
But that encompasses so much. My problem today is feminism. Not how it is defined but how it is lived. The feminist movement of the 60’s and 70’s was a great and important time for women. It is the reason that I can have the job that I have. The hobby that I have. Really the life that I have. But somewhere along the way, this fight for equality turned into some sort of fucked up “you do for me or you hate women” kinda mindset.
Those brave women fought for the rights for women to be human and not property. In the time prior, women were to marry, have babies, take care of the house and nothing else. They had no rights to common property and everything they earned themselves were owned and managed by their husbands. They were not welcome in the workplace in positions other than teachers, nurses, and secretaries. It is reported that a dean of a medical school admitted that he did not welcome women in his school and if others were honest, they would say the same. This is what those women fought against.
Today, we are not shaving our armpits for what? To show solidarity for the feminist movement? Ummm, no. There is a rash of hypocrisy that people are choosing to ignore. Or are maybe afraid to confront. Well, today I am too tired to hold tight my filter so here ya go.
My poor, sweet boyfriend got hurt to the point he is unable to move without great pain. Being an empathetic, accident prone person, I feel for him. Being his girlfriend, I want to help him. For the most part, I can do nothing but watch him writhe in agony. Today, I had to go to work, so the plan was get him set up with breakfast and coffee and water and then come home for lunch and help him and set him up for the rest of the day until I left work. A friend of mine asked if I had brought my lunch and I said no and told her why. Her response was “You are a lot nicer than I am.”
Well, okay then. Now granted, I am sleepy. And when I am sleepy, it doesn’t take much to set me off, but when did it become okay to leave someone hurting to hurt by themselves? Especially when I have the ability to help. Also, this is stacked on top of numerous comments, some said under their breath, about how my boyfriend and I do our relationship.
I cook for the most part. I clean for the most part. I wash all of our clothes. I fix his plate and fill his glass. And I do all this because I want to. There was never an expectation from him that this would be the way we did things. It is just something I do. And I like to do it. I love to cook. I have a certain way I like the house so I clean it. And I like to clean. It calms me. I’m already washing my clothes. Why not wash his? I set the food on the table, if not on the plates because it feels wrong for me to fix my plate and as I’m sitting down, announce to him that the food is done and in the kitchen. And again, I LIKE TO DO ALL THESE THINGS.
At the same time, he does most the heavy lifting. He fixes things. He kills the bugs. He gets things off high shelves. I buy things that need to be put together. He puts them together. I think of inane projects because I saw it on pinterest and he takes things apart and puts them back together.
The way I see it, we are a team. We maximize our relationship by doing things suited to our strengths. And we do things for one another because we like to see the other happy. We like to make the other happy. That is why in our house, we are happy. We don’t do these things because the other is unable or incapable of doing them, we do it for the other person.
It doesn’t feel like a burden to either one of us to help the other. But for some reason, my doing for him has become a solo act of setting the women’s movement back somehow. And I do mean “my doing for him” because in this pick and choose society, him doing for me is his job as a man. My doing for him is seen as some kind of masculine driven act of servitude. Grow the fuck up, people!!
The feminist movement of today has done nothing, in my opinion, but make women look like a bunch of self serving whiny bitches and at the same time, emasculated men. There I said it. Feel free to unfriend me, on facebook and real life, but I am tired of keeping quiet because my “traditionalist” views are not the mainstream. And honestly, if you feel the right to speak into how I live my life, I have the same right to defend it.
You are free to not do all these things for your significant other. You do not have the right to try and make me feel bad because I do. And what business is it of yours anyways? The type of men that are attracted to the type of women that do these things are not going to be knocking down your door when they find out you won’t do it, so it is not your problem to fight. There are plenty of women like me that are happy to do it. It’s a preference. Just like in every other part of a person, we make judgement calls on whether or not we want to be with them based on preference. It is not machismo. No matter how loud you want to scream anti-feminist and stomp your feet. It’s preference. We all have them, but somehow, this preference is a dick move by men. No. It is a choice you make and a response to that choice. Nothing else. You don’t want to be with a man that prefers that but you aren’t a bitch for that. A man chooses a woman that lives her life this way and he’s a gorilla. Hypocrisy.
Oh, and while I’m riding the unpopular train. This movement of “I can hit men, but they better not hit me back” shit is just that. Shit. And hypocrisy. How many videos on Facebook alone show 10 plus minutes of a woman battering a man with no one stopping her or calling the police and most of the time cheering for her, but the second he begins to defend himself, he’s the demon. I’m not in any way saying it is okay to hit women, but come on! You can hit him with zero consequences? Last time I heard, laws regarding battery didn’t have a gender clause in them. If you’re a woman, do your thing. If you’re a man, just sit there and take it. And then you want to get mad because men are not acting like men. How about you act like a lady?? A woman gets raped and we justifiably get angry, as it should be. A man gets raped and we laugh at him and make jokes? Is this the equality you are striving for??
What’s really sad is that in this feminist quest, we women have turned on one another as well as squashed masculinity under our heels. Those women of the 60’s and 70’s fought for the women of today to be able to live our lives with freedom. And that includes the freedom for me to live mine as well, but because of the way in which I do, I constantly face harsh criticism and disdain. No more. You want equality? Your judgement of my life and the way I choose to live it will be faced with equal judgement on how you live yours. If you feel the need to shit on my desire to live a life of gratitude and service, you will receive none of that when I respond to you.